Let’s try to figure out why fetishists are often disliked.
I am an old fetishist, and I don’t know the word “love.”
First of all, there is a difference in how the term fetish is understood in international (at least European) circles versus in Ukrainian culture. In Europe, a fetish can be focused on actions or processes, and BDSM as a whole is considered a type of fetish. A fetish can involve ropes, pain, latex, or domination. The BDSM community in Europe is called the Fetish Scene. The largest BDSM events include German Fetish Ball and numerous Fetish Weekends in different cities. So, this question doesn’t really come up there.
However, in our culture, a fetish is usually understood as a sexual fixation on a specific object or body part. Hello, foot fetishists! 😊 And, of course, that raises the eternal question: how are fetishists connected to BDSM? After all, none of the letters in the acronym include fetish.
This is why experienced SM practitioners and BD enthusiasts tend to look down on fetishists. And let’s not even mention DS folks—they look down on everyone. But in reality, the core of BDSM is the transfer of power. Foot fetishism or, for example, a fetish for knives is often accompanied by a shift in control.
But there’s another important point. Fetishists are often not interested in the person beyond their fetish. From a foot fetishist’s perspective, the feet matter, and everything above the knee is irrelevant. Who the person is and what they feel doesn’t matter.
This approach can often be purely consumerist. "Oh, who has feet here? Bring them all to me. I shall fetishize." The desires and emotions of the partner are disregarded, and sometimes the partner as a person is completely absent. I think this is the main reason why there is such a bias against fetishists in our community.
But in the end, everyone has fetishes—they're just different. 😉
Author: Rick
Comments